This Christmas, we managed to get our hands on the infamous Grinch’s resume. It…. It needs some work.

Okay so first things first, we strongly advise against insulting, berating, and dismissing the reader. That tends to not be received well.

Other language that you want to avoid is fluffy adjectives like visionary, elegant, and impressive. Show your potential employer how great you are, don’t tell them!

Be careful with colored font and graphics. You risk sending a message of style-over-substance. People often use flash to cover up a lack of credentials—if you’re not careful, you can get lumped in with those candidates by association.

Don’t use the first person. You don’t want this document to feel like a narration, but rather a statement of objective fact. Third person works much better.

Lying to a child doesn’t make you look great, and doesn’t exactly demonstrate useful, actionable skills. Leave off bullets that hurt your personal narrative.